How to Write a Killer MOH Speech

Your bestie is getting married!! And now you have to write a speech! Dun, dun, dun…

Don’t worry, I am here to help! I have been a Maid/Matron of Honor 4 times – 4! I am the more realistic Katherine Hiegl in 27 dresses. 

Being a MOH is a lot, planning (at least) 2 events: shower & bachelorette, keeping track of the other bridesmaids, trying to include Mothers of the Bride and Groom to an appropriate extent, and keeping the bride sane. However, most people freak out about the speech, and I don’t blame them. You’re in a room of mostly strangers talking about something in a more personal theme. 

Related: 5 Easy Ways to Save Money at Your Wedding & Wedding Speech Writer for Hire

Unfortunately, we still live in a time where everyone audibly groans when the MOH gives her speech, so your goal at minimum is to avoid that. Comedy is still very much male-dominated from ametuer to professional, so people correlate this to wedding speeches. Guests expect a boring, sappy speech from the MOH, and a funny, lighthearted roast from the Best Man. 

I’m with you, we are going to help you to avoid this. 

Where do MOH’s make mistakes? Trying to include too many inside jokes, over explaining their relationship with the bride, or being too sentimental. Nobody besides your 3 college friends get the joke, you’re the MOH – you have nothing to prove, and save the sentiments. 

I will include the basics of a good speech and tailor it for use as a MOH. 

Let’s get started!

Follow these steps for success: 

1. Greet the crowd: good morning/afternoon/evening…
2. Introduce yourself – name and a little bit about how you know the bride. 
   No one, I mean no one, cares how you were practically wombmates (unless you’re an actual twin, haha) with the bride or some drawn out story about how you met. It’s not a competition and it’s not about you.
3. Thank the parents of the bride and groom (if they assisted in the wedding) and the bride and groom for having you & having a great/beautiful/whatever wedding.
4. Get right to the speech – Why you admire the bride, you can be funny or sincere, or both. 
   Warning: do not come off as jealous. I have seen this happen, and yikes… 
5. Tie the couple together – this is a multi-stepper
   Avoid: “when bride met groom, I knew something was different.” No kidding. 
   Try to address something funny at the beginning of the relationship like the meet-cute, or if it was online call it the new traditional way of meeting.
   Segue into something the couple has in common you can get a little chuckle out of and use for a heart-warming wrap up (next step).
   I realize this might need an example (here’s 1 from one of my actual speeches): “One thing Val and Eddie oddly have in common – they are both hoarders… I mean collectors! From matchbox cars, to coins, to other various memorabilia, they both find great joy in hunting for their next treasure.”
6. Finally – get lovey on them by using the commonality of the couple.
   Example continued: “There’s a quote I found from a Tove Jansson novel, ‘When you aren’t a collector anymore, you’re only an owner, that isn’t nearly so much fun.’
   We hope for Val and Eddie to continue their hunt for treasures and collect memories, adventures, and love for one another, because the longer you’re on the hunt for something, the more extraordinary it becomes. So, go together and chase those thrills and life’s true treasure of happiness and love.”

7. The Actual Toast – this is very important: MAKE IT OBVIOUS. 
   In all my speeches I have been sure to include some variation of: “Now please raise your glasses in a toast to the happy couple! Cheers!” I literally raise my glass and toast the air (or another person close by). There is nothing more awkward than the speech ending and no toasting or cheersing happening. This has occured at weddings I’ve been at and the guests look around at each other a bit (read: A LOT) confused.

Tips:

• Write the speech down – you will not memorize it
• Type it using a large, clear font and at least double spaced. The less congested the words on the page, the less likely you are to lose your place.
• Practice reading slow, in the moment you will naturally speed up. Practicing reading very slow will minimize this and get you comfortable with the material. The more you practice the more natural the speech will flow.
• Time your speech – 5 minutes is a long time when you’re up there (for you and them)! 2-5 minutes is best practice.
• As cited above in step 6, use a quote from someone if you can’t say it better yourself. Chances are it’s already been said by someone who is a much better writer or speaker than you. I am basically stealing this advice from the movie American History X (if you haven’t seen the movie – highly suggest).
• Keep it clean 😉

Avoid the big 4:

1. Religion
2. Politics
3. Money
4. Family drama

If nothing else: 

• DO NOT talk about divorce
• DO NOT talk about exes

I’m not saying I brought the house down with my speeches, but every time I have been told by guests (many which I did not know) my speech was the better one. Now that is something you want to hear! 

I really hope this helps! Like, I said earlier – at minimum you don’t want it to suck or be up there blubbering through your speech. 

Related: 5 Easy Ways to Save Money at Your Wedding & Wedding Speech Writer for Hire

If you need more assistance, think about checking out my MOH speech writer printable here!

And, if you think you need more assistance consider having me edit or write your speech for you. Just complete the following form here. 

Good luck! Be the best MOH the bride could want and have fun at the wedding!! After the speech is over of course 😉